Inferiority Complex

iNfeRiOrItY cOmPleX

I think I am developing the above syndrome. it's probably due to certain events that have occurred to me these few days. Dun think I will care to elaborate much.
1) Quote "This kind of creative thing, Xiong cannot do one" Once again, guess have to re-emphasise that a company clerk, you only get tasks like "typing a document, interpretation of data etc" I was never tasked to take up higher-order tasks, which probably require more brain juices, these are reserved for those who are perceived to be more creative and flexible, maybe I am indeed less capable
2) OC wanted to appoint him as vice-chair, I am not jealous or envious; deep down inside I was just doubting my capabilities. Maybe I am indeed inferior.
3) WO Lui gave me an hourly rate of $2.60 to work in the workshop while there are people's hourly wage can be up to $8. Maybe I am indeed useless in the workshop.
4) Quote " Xiong drives like a girl". probably too defensive. Had a rather close shave in Yuwei's carpark, the car was like super close to the van. Maybe I indeed do not have the judgement for parking or driving.
5) Quote" IPPT keeps you fit, anyway u are unfit". I try to really put in my effort during life- runs, there aint much improvement. Probably no faster than when I was in DHS or VJC. Cant seem to coordinate my breathing along with my running pace, maybe I am indeed unfit.

I remembered I told myself in secondary one that I do not want to compete with people around me in terms of studies, sports or whatsoever. I just could not take it when there are people kept asking how much i got for this examination or test. I wanted to compete with myself and thus i set goals for myself to achieve. Seven years down the road, I realised I set goals quite easily attainable for myself. 12mins flat for my 2.4 timing and I am probably satisfied. I am not pushing myself to the limits. Been living in this comfort zone for too long, I begin to lose sight of my peers. I am oblivious to the surroundings, my peers are surging forward in this race, leaving me far far behind, living in my own world.